God’s Beautiful Institution of Marriage

Day 1

4“Haven’t you read,” he replied,“that he who created them in the beginning made them male and female,5and he also said, ‘ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?6So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
MATTHEW 19:4-6 (CSB)

Commentary

What Marriage Is & Isn’t

When challenged by the Pharisees about divorce, Jesus answered them with Scripture, referencing a verse found all the way back in Genesis, chapter 2.

24This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.
GENESIS 2:24 (CSB)

These verses teach us that marriage is an institution of God, one that should be taken seriously. Though man has intervened in it for thousands of years, the heart of it is from God Himself.

He created man and woman so that a man may leave his mother and father and join to a woman in a lifelong partnership that is a symbol and tangible experience that mimics the very relationship which born-again believers have with Jesus.

Man has perverted this institution of marriage through easy divorce and immoral unions. Understand that there is no “marriage” or “marriage-like” relationship that is ordained by God or blessed by Him apart from the marriage of one biological man to one biological woman. Everything else is a fraud and abomination to Him. Living with your boyfriend or girlfriend before marriage is not God-honoring, nor is any sexual relations outside God’s design, outside of marriage, or in addition to a marriage.

In this study, we’ll dive deeper into what Scripture reveals about marriage and how believers are to live out their marriages to honor the Lord. If you are currently single, I still invite you to follow along in this study; there is still valuable knowledge to be gained.

Soul Search

How is my marriage or dating relationship, am I honoring God?

Prayer

Heavenly Father, I lift my spouse up to You for all their needs and blessings over them. May I be a faithful and loving husband or wife to them, with a true desire to love them and treat them in the ways that You command. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen

Day 2

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord,23because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body.24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.
EPHESIANS 5:22-24 (CSB)

Commentary

The Role of a Wife

God has designed men and women to fill different roles. In marriage, the wife is to respect her husband, to follow his leadership, and to do the things which grow the beauty of her heart for God’s glory and the blessing of her husband.

3Don’t let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes,4but rather what is inside the heart  ​— ​the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
1 PETER 3:3-4 (CSB)

The wife’s first devotion after God is to her husband. To care for him, and if she has children, to care for them as well. The household should be her first priority. Something that has been attacked greatly by Satan, but especially since the 1960s.

With the rise of feminism has come a robbing of women of this role that God has ordained. Culture lies to men and women, encouraging women to pursue careers over family, sexual exploration over monogamous marriage, and self-sufficiency over trust. God has perfectly established a fulfilling role, which not only blesses Him, but also her husband, children, and herself.

This is not to say that women cannot do certain jobs or pursue careers, but God’s design is for the married woman to first focus on her husband and family, before pursuing additional roles.

A wife plays an irreplaceable role in the life of her husband, especially when she lives out that role in accordance with God’s will. God made women nurturing, gentle, soft, beautiful, supporting, encouraging, and so much more. If you’re a wife or going to be one soon, seek God’s Word and meditate on His will for your current or soon-to-be marriage.

30Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD will be praised.
PROVERBS 31:30 (CSB)
4A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a wife who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.
PROVERBS 12:4 (CSB)

Soul Search

Am I seeking to live out the role in my marriage that God has placed me in?

Prayer

Heavenly Father, please bless this marriage and guide us to live out Your will for our lives, to be looking to You for guidance in all aspects of our marriage. Whether it be finances, intimacy, raising children, and all the things that fall in between. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen

Day 3

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her26to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word.27He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless.28In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church,30since we are members of his body. 31For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.32This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church.
EPHESIANS 5:25-32 (CSB)

Commentary

The Role of a Husband

These verses teach us about the role of a husband and display even greater the connection that marriage has with Jesus and His Church.

Modern culture has attacked Biblical marriage with a cynical view, always painting a wife’s submission to her husband as weakness and a husband’s headship as “toxic masculinity”.

The reality is, when a man is walking with Jesus and marries his wife, he should be a man who loves his wife as Jesus loves His Church. The husband’s role is to be a provider and protector of his wife and children, to honor and cherish his wife and love her like he loves himself. Like Jesus, who died for His Bride (the Church), a husband is to give himself for his bride. This means in labor as a provider, in selfless leadership as the head of the household, and in sacrifice as the protector of his family.

God made men to be strong, aggressive when needed, rough, protective, and more. Current culture is trying to feminize men and take away the role that God has ordained for them. But when a man exercises his masculinity in a Biblical way, he will be a husband who loves his wife with great love. That wife will know just how much she is loved and cherished.

7Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker partner, showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
1 PETER 3:7 (CSB)
I speak to the men. Do not allow this culture and society to rob you of what God has blessed you with. Seek Jesus to help with any lust, pornography addiction, and anything that may hinder you from being or becoming a God-honoring husband to your wife or future wife. Meditate on His Word and seek Him for guidance in your marriage.
19Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them.
COLOSSIANS 3:19 (CSB)
33To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.
EPHESIANS 5:33 (CSB)

Soul Search

Am I armoring up in God’s Word, so to fend off the toxic culture around me?

Prayer

Heavenly Father, make me into the person that You want me to be, especially in my marriage. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen

Day 4

1Now in response to the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. ”2But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman should have sexual relations with her own husband.3A husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband.4A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does.5Do not deprive one another ​— ​except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
1 CORINTHIANS 7:1-5 (CSB)

Commentary

Intimacy in Marriage

God gave us marriage as the way to enable procreation. But we can also enjoy each other in the pleasure and deep connection that God allows within marriage, something that is a great blessing when done as He designed.

The world has helped to destroy the connection of intimacy between so many husbands and wives. Look at modern life; it’s full of lusts, immoral sex, overworking, attention-demanding devices, and a multitude of other distractions. It has become more and more difficult for a husband and his wife to spend the quality time together that they need. And we’re just as guilty when we choose to do other things rather than spend quality time with our spouse.

As Paul writes, husbands and wives belong to each other, and it is very good for them to come together often — if possible. The lack of physical intimacy can cause sexual temptations to overwhelm, and the lack of emotional intimacy may drive one to seek that connection in someone else. We can see the results of the strain and temptations placed on marriages today; there are many cheating spouses because of a lack of self-control and a lack of intimacy in their marriage, physical, spiritual, and emotional.

It’s vital for married couples to regularly study the Bible together and pray together. We should be inviting God into every aspect of our marriages to ensure that we’re honoring Him in every area. When you’re honoring Him, you will automatically be a blessing to your husband or wife.

Soul Search

How’s the intimacy in my marriage?

Prayer

Heavenly Father, I look to You for guidance on this area of my marriage. Heal any issues in our marriage and lead us to a closer, more intimate relationship, one that is not just sexual, but loving and deep, and reflective of our relationship with You. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen

Day 5

10To the married I give this command ​— ​not I, but the Lord ​— ​a wife is not to leave her husband.11But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband ​— ​and a husband is not to divorce his wife.12But I (not the Lord) say to the rest: If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.13Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce her husband.14For the unbelieving husband is made holy by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy by the husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy.15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace.16Wife, for all you know, you might save your husband. Husband, for all you know, you might save your wife.
1 CORINTHIANS 7:10-16 (CSB)

Commentary

Separation & Divorce

Sadly, there are many, many divorces today. God’s institution of marriage is no longer respected like it once was, and the rottenness of our culture has pulled people into all sorts of abhorrent things, reducing marriage down to a minor commitment.

However, Scripture makes it clear what kind of divorce scenarios are permitted and which are not. When it comes down to it, God would rather that we work through a tough marriage if possible, but there will be times when that just cannot happen.

8He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts, but it was not like that from the beginning.9I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.”
MATTHEW 19:8-9 (CSB)

While it’s impossible to know what will happen in a marriage, it’s imperative that those believers who are not yet married truly and diligently seek the Lord for guidance first. It would be better to prevent a bad marriage than to jump headfirst into a marriage with someone who is not a good fit for you. Especially if that person is not a believer.

14Do not be yoked together with those who do not believe. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?
2 CORINTHIANS 6:14 (CSB)

When we choose to follow God’s design for marriage, it’s a bond that mimics Christ and His Church. There is great blessing and satisfaction for both the husband and wife. It is truly one of God’s greatest gifts to us during this lifetime. Please take the time to seek His wisdom and to live it out in your own marriage.

4Marriage is to be honored by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.
HEBREWS 13:4 (CSB)

Please know that if you have divorced or done things in your marriage that you should not have, there is forgiveness. If you’ve repented and asked God to forgive you, you don’t need to walk in shame. Keep moving forward in Christ and learn from those past mistakes.

Soul Search

Am I leaving past issues behind and seeking to walk in obedience to God?

Prayer

Heavenly Father, please forgive me for anything wrong that I have done in my marriage or things I have done outside of marriage that should only be done in marriage. Take away my shame and help me to start fresh, walking as You lead me. Thank You, Father, for giving us this wonderful gift of marriage, which offers a special bond that no other creature can experience, a reflection of Christ and His Church. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen